College Year: The Invador Zim Story
by Sonic The HeadgeCat
Summary: Dib is off to college meaning that he finally gets away from Zim... or does he. Follow Dib as Zim drives him star craving mad and turns that college upside down. It's hilarious I tell you. Hilarious. Summary by best friend in real life XxInvaderXIzzyxX
1. Chapter 1

INVADER ZIM IN COLLEGE!

Chapter 1: Zim U.

"7 years." Zim said sitting in a dark corner of his house. It had been seven years since he first arrived and of course, he still looked the same due to his Irken origin. "7 years I've been trying to conquer this world and I haven't been able to. What is it about this place?"

"Tomatoes." Gir said in an opposite corner, squeeking a small Spooky toy.

"Tomatoes?"

"Tomatoes."

"Hmmmmm....OF COUR...Wait a minute, that can't be right." Zim said scratching his head. "Dammit Gir, stop polluting my mind. I should be enjoying this time when I get off school."

"School is cool for me and you!" Gir began to sing to himself, squeeking like mad.

"Let me see, maybe if I made some kind of catapult to launch people into a wormhole filled with Salsa....NO!" As Zim became more frustrated, he heard a knock at his door. Getting up from his dark corner, he quickly put in his contacts and wig. He then flung the door open to see a tall teenager with glasses, spikey black hair, baggy jeans, a goatee dyed blonde, sandles on his feet, and a long shirt with a picture of an alien being dissected.

"Whattup Zim?" Dib said, leaning against the side of the house. "Looks like your still a midget."

"DIB! GET OFF MY LAWN!"

"Up yours Narc!" Dib said jokingly, noogieing Zim into the ground. "I would be asking what you were doing but I would probably get the same answer I always do, which would be...."

"Trying to take over the world." Zim replied.

"But thats what we did last night Brain!"

"What?"

"Inside joke."

"You certainly are acting rather non chalant around me. Aren't you going to try to destroy me like you always have?"

"Like I always have? Zim, I stopped trying to destroy you after the pudding incident where I realized that you have a better chance of pulling monkeys out of your...uhhh...squeedily spooch then take over Earth."

"THAT PLAN WAS FOOL PROOF!" Zim screamed at the top of his lungs.

"You waved a pudding cup at a clown and demanded he give you English citizenship."

"That was only stage one of a two part plan."

"Really? What was the second part?"

".....Second part?"

Dib slapped his hand against the front of his face and shook his head.

"Look, I just came here to give my goodbyes and wish you luck on your little crusade."

"Goodbyes? You're leaving! NOW MY PLANS CAN GO UNFETTERED!"

"Yeah whatever. I'm going to college and so won't be here to 'stop' your plans." Dib then began to laugh heartily, remembering all the stupid attempts Zim made at conquering the world.

"QUITE! DO NOT MOCK AN IRKEN INVADER! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE TAKE YOUR SISTER WITH YOU, SHE'S BEEN IN MY HOUSE FOR 3 YEARS!" Zim yelled pointing back at a crazy looking Gaz, picking the petals off a flower.

"IloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZimIloveZim." Gaz kept repeating, malnourished to the point of near death.

"What the heck's wrong with her?" Dib asked, pointing at his crazy skeleton like sister.

"Too many romance stories."

"Ah. Anyway, you can keep her. I just convinced Dad he didn't have a daughter and since he's never home, he believed me."

"That's great." Zim said sarcastically. "Oh look at the time, looks like you better be going."

"What?" Just as Dib said this, all the gnomes on Zim's lawn sprung to life and began to attack Dib. They bashed their tiny hands against him and tried to move him, but their attempts were pathetic at best. "Oh yeah these things are really dangerous. You know this may have worked when I was the same size as you, but me being 6'2 and all tends to change things."

Dib then simply stepped on the numerous amounts of gnomes, crushing them beneath his heel.

"MY GNOMES!" Zim cried.

"I'll catch you in about 4 years Zim. Try to think of something better then pudding next time." Dib then walked out of the yard and onto the sidewalk.

"OH YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL SEE WITH YOUR EYES....AND POSSIBLY WITH YOUR TEETH!" Zim then slammed the door, fuming.

"Want a hershey kiss?" Gir asked, holding the small candy between his two fingers.

"....Yes." Zim gulped down the candy and stopped fuming.

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"That wasn't a Hershey Kiss." Gir said as Zim began to vomit all over the ground.

Moving Day.......

"You have everything you need son?" Professor Membrane asked from his floating video monitor.

"No problem. I'm ok dad."

"Thats terrific, I'm going to go over here now." Dib's father's monitor then simply turned around to Dib and stared at the wall. Dib let out a sigh as he finished unpacking all his stuff. It was getting toward the evening and he still hadn't seen his roommate or even got to find out what his name was, but he figured he would get some dinner anyway.

"This is how you remind me! THIS IS HOW YOU REMIND ME OF WHAT I REALLY AM!" Dib began to sing along with his cd player as he walked out of his room. As he walked past other people preoccupied with packing all their clothes and various things into their tiny rooms, he hummed a few more bars of the song he was listening to. It took Dib about two minutes to get to the cafeteria where everyone ate.

"I wonder if they have any Fruit Loops?" Dib perused the wide assortments of foods and still found nothing what he wanted. "No Fruit Loops. Christ, I'll never survive."

"So I said 'Dude, don't touch that racoon, its got viruses and stuff.'" Everyone laughed at the joke told by the mysterious stranger. Dib tried to see who it was, but the crowd was to thick, so he gave up and took a handful of gummi bears. "How much?"

"7.50." The cashier said.

"WHAT? DOLLARS? BUT I ONLY HAVE A HANDFUL OF GUMMI BEARS!"

"Yes, its on sale today." The cashier said, ringing up the sale. Dib grudgingly took out the money and put it on the table. He pocketed the gummi bears and began to walk back to his dorm room. As he finally made it, he reached for the door knob and turned it. Before he finished opening the door, he heard sounds from within. "Oh good, my roommate must be here."

Dib opened the door only to see....

"Why hello there Dib." Zim said, making his bed. "Looks like we're gonna be roommates."

End Chapter 1

JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR BEER.....and other things not pertaining to beer.

Chapter 2: Roomie from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!


	2. Chapter 2

The new cool word for the year is sick. Sick meaning cool or dope. For example, "That music video is sick my fine feathered friend." Use this word at your discresion. Thank you and good night.

Chapter 2: Roomie from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Dib kept repeating walking around the room. Zim watched on, disinterested, still packing away a lot of his things. The small Irken put away a lot of his clothes, Dib still circling the room.

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Aaannnddd yes." Zim replied, finishing his packing.

"YOU CAN'T BE MY ROOMMATE! YOU JUST CAN'T!"

"Why do you care? I mean its not like your going to try to stop my plans right? Oooooo." Zim then began to wave around a cup of jello jigglers madly in front of Dib's face.

"GET THAT THING THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE!" Dib slapped the cup out of Zim's hand and lifted Zim high into the air. "WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?"

"Well, as you said before, my plans as of late have been a little lacking and seeing as how I could no longer remain in the old skool, I needed a new place to carry on my infiltration."

"So you picked to live in MY room at MY college?"

"Of course, how else would the plot progress?"

"Plot?...I hate you so much Zim."

"There's the old Dib I remember." Zim smiled cruely as he wrestled himself out of Dib's grasp and made it back to the floor.

"No." Dib said as he began to regan his composure. "The way I acted was a long time ago. I've become cool now. I'm more mature and composed and I'm not obsessive as I used to be."

"Sure you are, Dibbo."

"ANYBODY WANT ANY LITHIUM?" Gir cried as he burst out of Zim's closet, running around with a lithium tank to his back.

"OH HELL NO! NOT YOUR ROBOT!" Dib cried trying to push Gir out of the room.

"He accompanies me everywhere, even when I don't want him to." Zim said rolling his eyes.

"LOOK WHY IS GIR EVEN HERE?"

"Cause I'm a chick magnet, duh. Wanna see?"

"Wha? NO GIR NO!" Zim cried out, trying to reach Gir, but it was too late. Gir switched on a lever hidden underneath his chest plate as the song "En Fuego" began to play and a large disco ball popped out of his head. As the music played and Gir danced, numerous amounts of girls began to burst through the walls against their wills and slammed into the small robot disguised as a dog.

"MY SPLEEN!" One of the girls cried in horrible pain as her body broke against Gir's metal exterior.

"Don't pay attention to your injuries against the green dancing dog." Zim futily said as he tried to reassure the broken and bleeding girls. "This is all part of an...experiment?"

"This is not happening. This is not happening. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" Dib yelled out as more and more girls made holes in the walls, Zim trying to console them in the background.

"That'll heal right up. No your leg will be just fine, just don't use it anymore. You can barely notice the indentation in your forehead. No I don't think your fat." Zim said, running from girl to girl at hyperspeed.

"TIME TO CRANK IT UP A NOTCH!" Gir yelled as the music began to pump out louder and faster.

"MUST...REACH...SWITCH!" Dib pushed his way through the pile of growing chick corpses, trying desperately to reach the small robot. Jumping past a nearby flying girl, he leaped just in time to knock the switch down into its former position and tumbled across the floor.

"Ooooohhh I wanted more chicks." Gir said sadly, walking back into the closet.

"You see Dib, I'm not such a bad roommate am I?" Zim said, standing ontop of the heap of dead girls, covered in blood and gore.

"Zim...Its only been the first day. Classes haven't even started yet and not only have you destroyed most of our dorm room, but you've killed half the female population on campus. I can't even find the words for this situation. I mean how could this possibly get any worse?"

Right on cue, the skeleton like Gaz popped out of the other side of Zim's closet.

"I wrote a poem? Who wants to hear it?" Gaz said pulling a long piece of paper out of her nose.

"Please God no." Dib said falling on his bed.

"I love Zim. He loves me. I live in a shoebox. I killed an owl." Gaz then pulled out a dead owl, half of which had been eaten, most assuredly by Gaz.

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN RHYME!...Does anyone have a gun? Seriously." Dib asked.

"Don't worry about her, consider her a part of your regular life as we adjust to college life. To answer your previous question: Yes I have a gun, but your sister is apparently too crazy to shoot." Zim replied, pulling out a laser gun and firing it directly at Gaz. The laser beams streamed towards Gaz's face and zinged in opposite directions right before it hit her.

"This is not happening. It can't be. I have a goatee now, that makes me cool. This must be a dream. That's the only logical explanation." Dib then began to frantically pinch himself. "WHY AREN'T I WAKING UP?"

"Listen this doesn't have to be a bad thing. I mean its just like three's company except there are four of us."

"...I really hate you Zim."

"Let's walk and talk." Zim said with a smile as he took Dib by the arm and dragged him out of the room, the teen still being in shock. "Now listen I know there's been a history between the two of us in the past, but that can change now. All you have to do is look the other way and when I take over the world, I'll make you my monkey."

"LIKE HELL ZIM!" Dib broke free of Zim's grasp and slammed him against the wall. "Just because I'm ignoring your plans because of their stupidity does not make me your monkey."

"YO ZIM!" A large group of college guys, obviously bombed out of their minds, walked up to Zim and Dib. "YOU THE MAN DAWG!"

"What the hell?" Dib looked confusedly at the wandering group of drunks as they passed by and patted Zim on the shoulder. "What's going on Zim?"

"Oh you mean my... Phat rep?" Zim poked Dib in the side confidently and began to wink.

"PHAT REP? YOU CAN'T HAVE A REP ALREADY! YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR 3 HOURS!"

"Why of course I can. After all, who can deny the workings of...PHAT DADDY ZIM?" The Irken then stuck his finger up in the air triumphantely. Dib simply stood there for a second and then began to shake his head in shame.

"Please...in the name of all things holy and pure, tell me that no one calls you that."

"Hey look, its Phat Daddy Zim." A nearby girl whispered to another girl walking past him by the hall. Zim looked back up at Dib, smiling and shaking his head. The young teen simply dropped his head to the floor.

"*sigh* People actually call you that." Dib said the phrase in shame and began to once again walk along Zim. "I can't believe it."

"Yes thanks to my college chip, I can now develop a reputation and act just as you earthlings do."

"College chip?"

"Yes its just like a technological Irken chip, except its beer." Zim said proudly as he took out a large frosty mug of beer and chugged it down.

"HOLY CRAP! YOU'RE SMASHED!"

"Yep." Zim then wiped the frothy beer off of the top of his lip. "You see by using your state of drunkness, I can appear as flamboyant and care free as the rest of you stink bags."

"Actually thats not half bad of a plan."

"Really?"

"...NO! THATS STUPID! I MEAN COME ON!" Dib said waving his arms up in the air.

"Very well our walk and talk is over, I must now proceed to take over the world. Teleportation on." Zim then blurred out of Dib's sight and returned back to the room.

"Only 198 more days to go." Dib sighed to himself, walking out of the building. "Only 198 more days to go."

End Chapter 2...

OOOOOOOO! I ENJOY LIQUID REFRESHMENT! What's gonna happen next? Is Zim the daddy mack or the mack daddy? Will Dib ever regain his sanity? How much more can I possibly make fun of Gaz? Find out all this next time in...


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, to start off with, if you have been reading any of my stuff, you have seen the poor representation that I have taken with Gaz. I have had her pushed aside, hit with bricks, and currently have her in the role of a deshriveled skeleton, spouting off crazy rants about her love for Zim. Why do I do this you ask? Well, quite frankly, I hate Gaz. I really hate Gaz. Gaz is a very mean kid in the show, and I really mean "MEAN"! She cares little for anyone but herself, in fact I don't think there has been one action taken in the whole show in which Gaz did an unselfless act. For example, whenever Dib gets near her game slave, she pushes him out of the way and/or threatens him with bodily harm. Then, in Nanozim, when Dib starts to play with his own "video game", Gaz, instead of leaving him alone as Dib had in so many other situations, slams him out of the way and takes I know that many people out there like Gaz, but I think they like her for the wrong reasons. Mostly, its just the "Gaz" who is in Zim/Gaz romance stories. I myself could NEVER EVER see Gaz caring about anyone else more than her game slave. However, this is Gaz's character, she's supposed to be the girl you love to hate. So that's it, that was kind of bugging me for a little while and wanted to get it off my chest...Nuts now I'm all edgy. *smacks Gaz upside the head with a large mattress filled with cannonballs.* That's better.

Chapter 3: Class without the "Cl"

Zim woke up feeling horrible. He rolled out of bed, almost like a zombie rolling out of its grave. He shook his head around, thinking it a temporary ailment, but could not shake it. He smacked his lips up and down, while scratching his butt at the same time. He looked over to his sleeping roommate and then into the mirror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Dib sprung out of his bed, striking an action pose. "Oh Zim, its just you."

"WHAT IN IRK'S NAME HAS HAPPENED TO ME?" Zim cried as he inspected himself in the mirror some more. He noticed how he now had hair stubbles growing out of his chin and seemed to have sprouted up an extra few inches over night.

"Holy crap. You've gotten...older."

"WHAT? HOW CAN THIS BE? I am supposed retain my original form for the rest of my Irken life." Zim then began to grip his head. "AAKK! WHY DOES MY HEAD POUND SO?"

"...THE BEER!"

"What?"

"It's the beer. It's screwing with your biological makeup, causing you to go through what we people here on earth call puberty."

"Proposterous! I would NEVER..." Zim's voice screeched at an unbelievable high tone and he clamped both his hands over his mouth in embarrasment.

"HAHAHA! YOUR VOICE IS CRACKING!"

"SHUT up! Shut UP!" Zim kept trying to scold Dib as his voice kept cracking over and over.

"AAAHAHAHAHA!" Dib walked out of the room, barely able to stand, gut bursting. Dib's laughter could be heard in the hallway as he went to take his morning shower.

"BLASTED human, he will rue the day he crossed the paths of THIS Irken INVADER." Zim's voice kept cracking as Gir rolled out of the closet, a hawaian lay crossed around his neck.

"Ugggg. No more tequila." As Gir said this, Gaz fell out of the other side of the closet with a few thousand dead owls behind her.

"Ugggg. No more owls." Zim shook his head in sorrow as he began to make his bed.

Dib went back to his room a few minutes later after taking his shower to find no Gaz, Gir, or Zim. He opened the closet and found both Gir and Gaz sleeping soundly in their rightful places.

"They're just like a couple of angels." Dib remarked. "If angels ate owls and drank tequila like a hobo with a death wish."

Dib changed into one of his many outfits, long boots, cut off jeans, a "JTHM" shirt and a long leather jacket. He bundled up what books he could scavange off the dirty floor and packed them into his backpack for his morning class. Just as he pushed the door open, Zim burst through with a towel on and a razor in his hand.

"Zim?" Dib asked as he inspected Zim. "Are you...shaving?"

"YES I am shaving, STINK beast. I don't want to look LIKE a BEET nick now do I?" Zim walked past Dib, voice still cracking on a regular basis.

"Yeah I know, but where did you even get the shaving cream to shave?" Dib pointed to the white substance hanging off of Zim's face, pondering.

"Shaving CREAM?" Zim asked. Dib cringed, not wanting to know what the substance was, and left the room, door still open in front of Zim. "Where are you going?"

"Morning class. You do have classes don't you?"

"Of COURSE I do. I just don't WANT you to KNOW them." Zim squeeked, obviously lying.

"Good, now I can be away from you."

"Yep." Zim packed up a number of random things into his metallic backpack and began to follow Dib.

"Zim?"

"YES Dib?" Zim squeeked.

"Why are you following me?"

"If ANYONE is following ANYONE, you ARE the one WHO is FOLLOWING me." Zim said, walking behind Dib, making his statement ridiculous.

"Zim, please tell me you're not going to my class and/or classes."

"Ok, i'm not GOING to your CLASSES."

"Good."

"Yep."

"You're lying aren't you?"

"Yep."

"...GODDAMMIT LEAVE ME ALONE!" Dib then began to run away from Zim, but to no avail as Zim's metallic spider legs sprung forth from his back and he began to follow right behind the running teen.

"Aw nuts." Dib gave up the pursuit and simply walked into his class as the pre-pubescent invader followed right behind him.

All of the children in the classroom began to erupt in a whisper as Zim entered the class.

"Look its phat daddy Zim!"

"I heard he killed a bear with a beer bong!"

"I heard he did your mom!"

"HEY!"

"Hi, how's it GOING!" As Zim said this, right on cue, his voice cracked yet again. The class stared at him in silence as he clamped his hands over his mouth once again.

"Dude, what the F***?" One of the students yelled out as he pointed at Zim.

"..." Zim scrambled to think of a solution. "Didn't you all hear? Breaking your VOICE is the COOLEST!"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Zim looked at the outspoken student for a second then lobed off his head with one of his metallic legs. Dib's jaw hit the ground as he looked at the headless corpse.

"Anyone else think ITS not COOL to CRACK your VOICE?" The whole class simultaneously shook their heads as Zim put away his mechanical leg.

"... Class is canceled until further notice due to...decapitations." The teacher said, shivering under his desk.

"...WHOS THE MAN?" Zim said in his squeeky voice as the whole class began to cheer Zim's name.

"Please...someone shoot me." Dib fell into his hands and began to shake his head stubbornly.

End Chapter 3

I enjoy the company of squirrels... Onto the next chapter.

Join us next time for..


	4. Chapter 4

ITS TIME TO PARTY! WHERE HAVE I BEEN! To answer all of your questions, I've been tunneling through the mines of mole people, eating their skin for warmth. *Scribe E shoots crazy person wearing Scribe E costume*

Ok, thats not the true story. I have been so fraggin busy its been ridiculous. I'll try to write more when I dont have to deal with school...and girlfriends...and other things. Please, you must still love me. LOOOVVEEE MEEEEEE! *sniff sniff* Do I smell the scent of Sasquatch?

*Scribe then shoots the other guy dressed like him*

Chapter 5: Zim discovers the internet...MAY GOD HELP US ALL!

"And that is your assignment for the day, all you have to do is find an internet site and destroy it from the inside out." Said the teacher who was twitching every second.

"Uhhhhh, that seems a little...illegal." Dib said, pointing it out to the teacher.

"It won't be under my new regime. Trust me you'll all be elected praetorians of the swamp once I overtake the queen."

"..."

"..."

"...You make me sad."

"LEAVE NOW!" The teacher said as everyone began to leave the room. "Thats means you too ZIM!"

Zim awoke from his sleep with a large amount of drool hanging from his mouth. "WHAZZIT?"

"Zim, leave." The computer teacher said.

"Yeah Zim, you have to come back to the room and help me get rid of the horse thats plaguing us so much."

Back at the room...

"You'll never get past my fists of death!" Gaz yelled, strapped from head to toe in gladiator armor.

"NEEEEEEEeeeeEEEE!" Mr. Ed cried as he stood on his hind legs, flailing them around.

"Listen I can't make the deal if you don't lure them into the basement. " Gir said, talking on a cell phone made of what appeared to be beer bottles. "WELL USE CANDY!"

Back at the class...

"I don't need to worry about such infentesimal things. They mean nothing to me." Zim picked up his books and began to walk out the room next to Dib. "All I must do is learn of your silly assignments and do them to fit in."

"*Sigh* Just use the internet Zim and destroy a site."

"In...tttteerrrr...net? What is this net? A weapon?"

"No Zim, its a..." Dib stopped in his tracks as he saw the girl from the Frat. "Computer...thingie...I GOTTA GO!"

"What? OOF!" Dib pushed Zim out of the way, knocking him into a water fountain. Dib followed the girl, out of Zim's sight. "THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL ME WITH THAT PATHETIC ATTEMPT?"

"No." A sniper said next to Zim loading his gun.

"What the?"

"Don't ask questions. It makes things hard." The sniper then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Oook. Now where is the computer lab?" Zim looked over the halls and saw a door labeled 'Compuueterz' "This must be it. These human information boxes will be nothing before the might of an Irken elite."

Zim walked into the room and sat at the nearest computer. He looked over the screen and keyboard.

"Doesn't seem to difficult."

Attempt #1...

"All right, lets see how you turn this on. Hmmmm." Zim smacked the side of monitor and then kicked the screen. "My vast knowledge shall uncover your secrets."

Zim thought to himself for five seconds then looked back at the screen. "AH HA!"

"OH MY GOD!" A student said as she walked in on Zim eating the mouse.

"Nothing wrong here other student worm. I'm simply using this compador to function my inner thoughts."

Attempt #2...

"All right, I got this disgusting box to turn on somehow." Zim said to himself, his toe accidently hitting the on button. "Note to self, to operate computer, eat the oval shaped object with a string."

Zim looked at the screen once again and began to ponder. "Now how do I get onto the internet."

"*Sigh*" An internet geek sitting behind him said. "You have to click on the internet icon."

"I see." Zim said as he investigated the screen more.

"Why are you breaking the screen with a hammer?" The internet geek asked as Zim proceeded to smack the glass.

"I'm surfing the web!"

Attempt #3...

"Ok, luckily that geek baby was able to get me onto the internet. Now all I must do is conquer it, then THE WORLD! Now to go to a human website." Zim confusedly looked at the buttons of the keyboard and pressed one randomly. As he hit a set of keys, thousands of windows with pictures of porn showed up on the screen. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"YOU IDIOT!" The geek cried. "YOU HIT THE PORN BUTTON! TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER BEFORE ITS..."

The computer then exploded from all the excess porno.

Attempt #4...

"Ok, I'm surfing the web now." Zim said on another computer. "Lets see, this ssseeeaarrccch engine will help me to find what I seek. I shall type in animals first to see what happens."

Zim proceeded to type in animals and then hit enter. Thousands of beastiality windows then popped up onto his screen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The computer then exploded in Zim's face.

Attempt #5...

"Very well. Now this computer shall work for me." Zim said on yet another computer. "Now I shall search for..."

"Whatcha doin?" Gir interrupted.

"GIR! PUT ON YOUR COSTUME BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!" Zim yelled. Gir looked around for two seconds then kciked Zim out of the chair.

"OOOOO WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON?"

"GIR NOOOOOOO!" The computer was then swamped with porn and exploded.

Attempt #6...

"BLAST YOU! WORK YOU PIECE OF FILTH! WWOOOORRRKKKK!" Zim hit the keys as hard as he could, causing something to show up on the screen. "Wha?"

"Oh my God kid, you found a website without porno!" The internet geek said.

"I did didn't I?" Zim looked at the screen closer and viewed the website. "It says, 'Do you not like porn? Then you've come to right place, click on this for more!' Very well."

Zim clicked on the link causing thousands upon thousands of ads to show up on the computer.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Failure...

"How was your day on the net, Zim?" Dib said sitting in his room, in a body cast.

"So...much...porn..." Zim muttered, walking into the room.

"Thats usually the most common response."

"What happened to you stinkboy?"

Dib sighed to himself. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"NEEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEEE!" Mr. Ed cried.

"GOOD LORD!" Dib cried as he tried to move futily. The large horse then dropped on top of the injured boy as it moved its gums up and down.

End Chapter 5

I know, I know. That was pretty bad. I blame the horse. Will Dib recover? Will Zim ever be free of Porn? Will Mr Ed go away? What happened to Dib?

Join us next time for...

Chapter 6: What happened to Dib? Wait I said that already. NO I SAID IT IN THE CHAPTER TITLE! OH NO THIS IS ALL GONNA BE THE TITLE! Stop talking...now...ok now...NOW!...Damn.


End file.
